Fall: Rise & Fall Duet Book 2 (Shaken 4) Page 17

He just stared down at me with that unreadable expression I despised.

  “I’m not waking Eric up to go back home in the middle of the night. He’s been through enough.” I balled my fist so tight, my nails dug into my palm. “He’s going to be devastated. And I will never forgive you for that.”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Lincoln

  I will never forgive you for that.

  I will never forgive you for that.

  That made two of us.

  I’d spent a long time hating myself for not being able to save my mother. It never occurred to me that anything could make me despise myself even more.

  I was wrong.

  Eric wandered sleepily into the kitchen, where I’d been sitting most of the night. The dogs were right beside him.

  “Hey, Lincoln.”

  I swallowed the thick knot in my throat. He had every reason to hate me, and today, I’d give him one more.

  But I’d made a promise to him I would not break.

  “Would you still like to have a suit tailored?”

  His eyes widened mid-yawn. “Yes! We’re supposed to go on Sunday.” He paused, tilting his head. “It is Sunday!”

  “It is. Teague is on his way over.”

  I hoped he arrived before Lexie got up. She’d never allow this if my brother wasn’t here as backup. Perhaps I should wake Beau too.

  “He’s coming?”

  “You’re selecting the style for the wedding. He needs to be fitted too.”

  He zeroed in on my tie. “I don’t have a bow tie that color.”

  “Select one of yours, and I’ll see if I can find something to match.”

  After I’d let him down, he still wanted me to be part of their coordinating wardrobe. From the time we’d met, he’d included me in their lives. Made me feel wanted.

  A strange sensation happened in my nose. A tingling that spread to my eyes. They stung a bit.

  I blinked rapidly to make it stop and something wet leaked from the corner. I caught it with my finger.

  A tear.

  I hadn’t cried at Mother’s funeral. Though I had in the privacy of my room afterward. I hadn’t since that day.

  And yesterday, when I couldn’t feel a thing was vastly better than the constant pain I’d been in since my last conversation with Lexie.

  She was wrong.

  I wasn’t a coward.

  I had to do what was necessary to protect them. Even if that meant giving them up. Because I’d failed both of them. They had functioned better without me.

  I already felt their loss. How would I ever select a tie again without thinking of them?

  Eric cocked his head. “Are you okay?”

  I cleared my throat. “Something’s in my eye.”

  “I always blink a lot when that happens.”

  That stinging sensation came back with more force. I’d miss Eric’s innocence and his positive outlook. And I couldn’t bear the thought of a life without Lexie. The way she took everything head-on. The way she felt in my arms. The way she gave me something to look forward to.

  I’d crossed into dangerous territory, thinking about a future with them in it. Without meaning to, I’d allowed myself to think beyond the moment. I’d made plans with them I hadn’t shared.

  This was a cold reminder of why I couldn’t do that. In the span of a moment, all of those plans were yanked out from under me.

  My vision of the future now was a black hole.

  “You’re up.”

  I turned. Lexie stood feet away, already dressed in a magenta jumpsuit and jet black heels which added at least three inches to her height.

  I understood the message.

  She had on her armor for the outside world. I was no longer allowed to see the Lexie I loved most. The casual, mismatched, vulnerable one.

  She didn’t spare me a glance, all smiles for her brother. “I thought we’d go have breakfast this morning. Just the two of us. Chocolate donuts or pancakes?”

  “Do we have time for that before we go get suits?” Eric looked to me.

  “Good morning, party people. I come bearing gifts.” Teague opened the box of donuts I’d asked him to pick up on his way.

  “Donuts!”

  Lexie glared as she stalked toward me. She put her mouth to my ear. “Dragging this out is flat-out cruel.”

  I inhaled that sweet scent that was only Lexie and committed it to memory. I’d likely never be this close to her again.

  Damn that stinging sensation. This wasn’t the time or place.

  “Why is your nose red?” Teague asked, offering me a donut.

  I opened my mouth to decline but decided to pick one up. This was something I only did with them. Yet another thing I’d miss.

  “Allergies.”

  He narrowed his gaze but let it go. “Lex, you look lovely. Are you going with us to pick out suits?”

  “I just found out about the plan.”

  “If you want, we can drop you by the rescue on the way. Pepper could use some help with the wedding. She just wants something simple, and you’ve got style.”

  “Why are you all up so early on a Sunday?” Beau stumbled in wearing flannel pajamas.

  “I’m getting a suit today. One that’s made for me,” Eric said.

  He was so grateful for all the little things. I hoped one day I could take a lesson from that.

  Beau high-fived him. “Fun.” She lifted her chin to Lexie. “What are you up to? Are you working today?”

  “No. I thought Eric and I could go to breakfast, but he already has plans.”

  “I sent Pepper a text that I’m dropping you by to help with the wedding. She sent thank you back in capital letters.” Teague held up his phone so we could see.

  I checked my watch. “We should be going soon.”

  “I’ll go get dressed,” Eric said, bolting from the kitchen.

  “Think he’ll be that excited after he’s been at the tailor with you for hours?” Teague groaned. “And was I supposed to wear a suit to go get a suit? Seems to defeat the purpose.”

  “You can wear whatever you wish.”

  Beau grabbed a donut. “I’ll go get ready too. We’ll get this wedding planned today.” She hooked Lexie’s elbow. “Help me pick out something to wear. I love having you live here.”

  My sister might as well have kicked me in the stomach.

  “You all right? You don’t look so hot.” Teague was too observant for his own good.

  Beau stopped to look at me. “He’s right. Maybe you should go to a doctor.”

  But I was looking at the only one who could help me. Those green eyes were cold where there’d been warmth only a day ago. And there was nothing I could do to fix it.

  “You’re still spooked about Friday,” Teague said as soon as they left the kitchen.

  Spooked didn’t even come close to describing how I felt. “Very much so.”

  “Eric seems good. Better than I thought. I was actually surprised you wanted to do this today.” He leaned his elbows on the island.

  “It will be good to keep his mind off of what happened.” And give me a chance to spend more time with him. If only I could find a way to do the same with Lexie.

  “He’s one resilient guy.”

  That he was.

  “You’ll be pleased to know that there will be no charges brought against me for tax evasion.” I felt no relief on the matter. I still leaned toward maybe I’d be better off in a cell.

  “I knew that whole thing was bogus.”

  “Turns out my accountant was after revenge for all the business we took from Titan Title when we started our own title firm.”

  Teague’s brows shot up. “No kidding?”

  “The investigation has shifted to him. He filed fraudulent returns on my behalf without my knowledge. There are years of proof to back that up.”

  Zegas had turned over everything to the authorities and had been reassured that I would not be prosecuted. And while I wanted to confront Wolken, I
’d have my chance when the case went to trial. Zegas had advised me to stay far away from the man. As pissed off as I was about the humiliation and stress he’d caused, it wouldn’t be so bad when Zegas sent his exorbitant bill to him for the suffering he’d caused.

  “Have they arrested him yet?”

  “It’s coming. They’re shoring up their case and giving him more rope to hang himself.” I folded my hands and stared at them. “I thought Father may have had something to do with the investigation, but I’m not so sure now. It’s likely if Wolken screwed with my taxes, he did it to him as well.”

  Teague pressed his lips together. “But you were the one under investigation. Not him.”

  “That’s true.” I steepled my fingers. “Zegas wants me to file a stalking complaint against him. What’s the point? It’s not as if I’m doing anything interesting anyway.”

  While I didn’t care what the press said about me personally, I preferred to keep things positive. Any negative attention could have ramifications for my employees, and that was unacceptable.

  If I filed a stalking charge against my father, the media would salivate over that story. I wouldn’t give it to them.

  “He’ll do it to Lexie too.”

  I straightened. “Is he following Pepper?”

  “Pretty sure he has someone watching. Maybe not all the time.” Teague ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t get it. What is the purpose in that?”

  I scrubbed my temples. “I honestly don’t know.”

  Teague slapped the countertop. “I’m glad things are looking up.”

  I wouldn’t ruin the day with the truth that things were not looking up. Maybe on some fronts, but what did it matter if I had no Lexie?

  “I’m ready,” Eric announced. He’d put red bow ties on the dogs.

  “Let me adjust my tie and we’ll go.” The barstool scraped when I stood.

  “Um, Lincoln?” Teague scratched his head. “How are we all going to fit in my truck?”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Lexie

  “We can’t have black flowers at a wedding.”

  Beau elbowed me at the suggestion. I shrugged. Maybe I should’ve skipped the wedding planning today. My mood was not in the right place for happy occasions.

  “What about baby blue?” She pointed to an image in the bridal books I had no idea where she’d come up with. “It’s a foreshadowing of all the baby boys you and Teague are going to have.”

  Pepper paled. “I think we have enough four-legged children.”

  “I could be a grandma,” Miss Adeline said cheerfully before she frowned. “But that might cramp my social schedule.”

  “Your social schedule consists of walking dogs and ogling firemen.”

  “Fine. Have some kids. I’ll fit them in.” The old woman shrugged.

  Pepper closed her eyes as if praying for patience, but there was a smile teasing her lips.

  “Teague will make a great dad.” Beau elbowed me again. “Lincoln will too. Just hope neither of you have girls. They’ll never date.”

  “Excuse me.” I pushed back from the table and rushed to the restroom. Once I was safely inside, I leaned over the sink and blew out a long breath.

  I couldn’t think about Lincoln as a father because if it happened, he’d be doing it with someone other than me. All the anger that I had toward him was slowly shifting to pain.

  I loved him and hated him at the same time.

  And I hadn’t exactly fought for him when he’d pushed me away. I completely understood his motivation. I’d been tempted to take that route myself.

  Things had been much safer before Lincoln had stormed into our lives. He’d disrupted our routine. He’d forced us to allow another person in. He’d showed us how seamlessly he fit.

  And just how quickly he could disappear.

  I dreaded going back to the old apartment. Not because it was the size of a shoe box and not as nice as Lincoln’s. I wasn’t even scared someone related to my parents would show up.

  It wouldn’t have him.

  How could someone so silent have such a profound presence?

  It was impossible not to notice when Lincoln was in the room . . . and when he was not.

  Who would make fun of my puffy sweatshirt? Or come over for emergency ice cream? And how was I going to tell Eric?

  We couldn’t have an arrangement where they still saw one another. I wasn’t sure if Lincoln wanted that, but I wasn’t capable of doing it. There had to be a clean break or I’d never survive.

  Because I’d know what I was missing. He’d just be too blind to see what he’d given up.

  I hung my head. Who was I kidding? I’d be aware every second of every day what I was missing whether I ever saw him again or not.

  I’d just have to focus on our business and—I might have to give up Grey Paws. It was too risky that I’d run into Lincoln.

  And Beau.

  I wouldn’t make her choose between her brother and me. That wasn’t fair and she meant too much to me.

  In one fell swoop, I’d lost the man I loved and our only friends.

  Eric and I had survived just the two of us before, and we’d have to do it again. Only when we’d started that path the first time, things could only get better. This time, it was going to be a hard fall.

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  “Lexie? You’ve been in there a while. Everything okay?” Pepper’s concerned voice came through the door.

  I checked my reflection in the mirror. At least I hadn’t cried.

  I opened the door. “I’m fine. Just been a long few days.”

  She leaned closer. “Can we pretend you’re not? So I can get away from this wedding planning for a minute?”

  I widened the opening and she slipped inside. Once the door was closed, she sagged against the back of it.

  “I just want to get married in my overalls at the back of Teague’s truck with the dogs and all of you there. I’ll take some wildflowers and cake, but that’s good enough for me.” She put her hands in her pockets.

  “Then that’s what you should do.”

  “But they’re having fun.” She waved toward where Beau and Miss Adeline sat.

  “They wouldn’t be if they knew you were in here all stressed out.”

  She sighed. “You’re right.” Pepper’s mouth twisted into a deeper frown. “I’m kinda freaked out about the kids thing. Teague would be a great dad. But I don’t know if I want children. I can’t take that from him if he does.”

  I touched her shoulder. “Teague loves you. Tell him everything you just told me. I promise he’ll be glad you did.”

  She looked at the engagement ring on her finger. “I was excited. Sure.” She shook her head. “I don’t know how people who have big weddings survive.” She took my hand. “I’m so sorry, Lexie. You’ve been through so much lately and here I am complaining because the people who love me are taking over my wedding.”

  I squeezed her hand. “Honestly, it’s been a nice distraction.”

  “You were lying when you said you were fine. It might seem kind of messy because Teague and Lincoln are related, but you can talk to me about him . . . or anything.” Her face was so open and kind. She and Miss Adeline had taken such a risk letting their dogs try our food. I couldn’t imagine life without their friendship.

  “I’d rather not talk about him,” I said quietly, trying to ignore the stab of pain in my chest.

  The door handle rattled.

  “All right, we’re coming in.”

  Pepper jumped out of the way just as Beau shoved open the door.

  “Is this a meeting in the ladies’ room that we weren’t invited to?” Miss Adeline stood behind her with a hand on her hip.

  I gave Pepper an encouraging nod. “I want to get married in my overalls. Everyone else can wear whatever they want. And I want cupcakes and pizza afterward. That’s it.”

  “You forgot the wildflowers and the truck,” I whispered.

  “That too. The end
.” She pointed at the three of us. “When any of you get married, I’ll be excited to help you make the biggest plans you want. But I need simple. Or Teague and I may never make it down the aisle.”

  “If I have to carry you over my shoulder, we’re making it down the aisle.”

  We all jumped at Teague, who was right behind Beau and Miss Adeline. Eric and Lincoln were beside him.

  Lincoln’s focus was on me, but I had to look away, unable to stand the intensity of it.

  “I know you got a suit today, but I don’t want to wear a dress,” Pepper said quietly.

  “I don’t give a damn what you wear as long as you end up my wife.”

  Every woman swooned. Pepper covered her mouth with her hand.

  What would it be like to have that with someone? For a small moment in time, I thought I’d caught a glimpse. But Lincoln was done with us. He’d made that clear. And now, I’d probably never know the joy Pepper felt.

  “See what I have to live with?” Miss Adeline harrumphed.

  “We should move in together,” Beau said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “The single ladies.”

  “Can we have banana popsicles now?” Eric asked.

  “You got it, mister.” Miss Adeline tugged on his bow tie. “They’re in the freezer down here.”

  One by one, we filtered out of the bathroom area. Lincoln hung back, Mr. Stoic on steroids.

  “I should’ve driven the van,” I said low so no one else could hear. “That way we could’ve gone straight home.”

  He flinched.

  “You don’t get to do that,” I said.

  “Do what?”

  “Have a reaction like what I’ve said hurt you.” I stepped closer. It was a mistake to be in his space. “You chose this. Because you care.” I spoke the word like it was the nastiest thing I’d ever heard.

  Nothing. That was his response. What had I expected? An apology?

  Yep, it was final. I couldn’t be around him any longer. It hurt too much. After tonight, I’d have to suck it up at Pepper’s wedding, but that was it.

  Lincoln Hollingsworth needed to be scrubbed from my memory.

  “I lied to you last night.”

  I’d taken two steps away when he opened his mouth. I drew in a deep breath before I turned around, not sure I wanted to face him again.