Fall: Rise & Fall Duet Book 2 (Shaken 4) Page 18

  He was too beautiful. And too far out of reach.

  “I don’t care for you,” he said evenly. Of course he didn’t. If he did, he wouldn’t be running away. “I love you.”

  I closed my eyes. The words deflected off me instead of soaking in.

  “You can’t say stuff like that.” Because your version of love and mine is different. Mine doesn’t let go . . . unless like now, where I was being forced to.

  I managed to speak, though how I didn’t know. Thank goodness he hadn’t said he loved me before. Because I would’ve believed him.

  Now. I didn’t.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Lincoln

  I hated this house.

  Almost as much as I hated my empty apartment.

  Old memories assaulted me. I’d taught Beau to ride a bike down the front walk. Teague and I had tossed a football in the yard until he’d left for college. When was the last time we’d done that?

  My mother had blared Cher for all the neighbors to hear while she’d let me drive her Cadillac up and down the driveway. Father had yelled. And she’d laughed at him for being so serious.

  After she died, I’d sit in her old car. Father had kept it, which I always found odd yet understood. She’d been murdered by the car, but somehow it was a piece of her goodness. A reminder of how carefree and kind she was.

  Lexie reminded me a lot of her. They both lived as if it were their last day. Lexie laughed at my seriousness the way Mother had at my father. And they were both nurturing.

  Why couldn’t it have been him instead of her?

  I’d had the thought a million times over the years and never felt sorry for it.

  I hated this house because of the good memories that would never be. But mostly I hated it because of him.

  For every ounce of joy my mother had, he robbed and pillaged it. From all of us.

  I rang the front doorbell like a guest at the home I grew up in. How absurd. To hell with it.

  I turned the knob, surprised when it gave way, and entered the cavernous foyer.

  Winston blinked a few time as he approached. “Lincoln. I don’t believe he’s expecting you.”

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d come to the house without being summoned. This time, I’d initiated the visit. We were on my terms now.

  “Is he home?”

  “Yes. Upstairs in his study.”

  I nodded, placing a foot on the first step. I twisted. “I’m not sure I’ve ever thanked you.”

  He’d raised us, been more of a father in most respects than my own.

  “For what, sir?”

  I snorted. “You’ve called me sir since I was five.”

  “I fail to see why you feel you owe me a debt of gratitude for that.”

  I’d always thought my mannerisms were like Father’s, but maybe I had more of Winston than I realized.

  “For making growing up in this house without her bearable.”

  He recoiled. I’d never spoken of such matters to him, but he was getting older and I was tired of keeping my mouth closed.

  “It’s been my pleasure to watch you become a man she’d be so damn proud of.”

  I lifted my chin in thanks. No more words needed to be spoken.

  I climbed the stairs, ignoring the portraits lining the walls. My focus remained on the destination.

  “I thought you might pay me a visit,” he said without looking up as I entered his study.

  Always keep the upper hand. Never act surprised under any circumstances. Never react.

  Those principles had been ingrained in my head. To think that once upon a time, I’d wanted to be like this man. Now I was, whether I liked it or not.

  It was like looking at an ugly version in a mirror.

  “You certainly seem to know my every move, even before I make them.” I avoided the chairs in front of his desk. They put my mindset into that of my childhood when my feet didn’t touch the floor. I was a man now. It was time I stopped allowing my father to treat me as anything less.

  “I made you. I taught you everything you know. Of course I know what you’re going to do before you do,” he said haughtily.

  There were pictures of us as a family and them as a couple on the mantel. A fake shrine to something he’d never understand. His heart was too hard.

  “Why did she marry you?” I picked up the framed photograph of their wedding day. Joy radiated from both of them. Sometimes I wondered if this was actually my father in the photo.

  “Because I understood what would make her happy.”

  “I don’t think being an ass would get the job done.” I set the frame down.

  “What did I tell you about name calling when you were six?”

  I rolled my eyes. Every chance he got he reminded me of how he molded me.

  “It isn’t name calling if it’s the truth.”

  He smirked as if he were enjoying this. Why wouldn’t he? I was giving him everything I wasn’t supposed to. It was obvious he affected me . . . and he loved that more than anything.

  “Are you here for relationship advice?”

  Do not react. He’s mocking you to push you.

  “You gave a wonderful example of what not to do.” Except in these old pictures, Mother did look happy. And she had been in all my memories too.

  Had he actually tried to do what pleased her?

  I leaned against the mantel at the possibility that Mother had been happy and he’d had a role in it.

  “I don’t like him.”

  Mother sat me on the swing on the back porch. “We don’t always like the people we love.”

  “I don’t love him.” I folded my arms over my chest. He yelled at Teague for leaving his tricycle in the foyer. It wasn’t a big deal.

  She brushed the hair back from my forehead. “Oh, sweetheart. You can’t get that angry at someone you don’t love.”

  I could. Father was awful. I did everything he said and he still got mad.

  “He hates us.”

  I felt it. I’d been over to Kenny’s house and his dad played basketball with us. My father wouldn’t allow us to have friends over.

  “We don’t use that word in this house,” she said sternly.

  “It’s true,” I cried.

  “Lincoln, listen to me. People have different ways of showing their emotions. And some of us just don’t know how to.”

  He was only good at showing one feeling. Mean.

  I put my chin down and swung my legs.

  She pulled me against her, stroking my hair. “He is who he is. And one day, when you’re a dad, you’ll understand why he’s the way he is. That he wants you to be the best you can be.”

  I burrowed against her. “But you want me to be the best and you’re not mean to me.”

  She kissed the top of my head. “How are you already so wise?”

  “Where’s Teague?” Father’s thundering voice made me shiver.

  I’d never tell him I’d told Teague to stay in my room and hide until I said it was okay to come out.

  Mother smiled and patted the swing next to her. “Come sit, Samuel.”

  He did as soon as she asked. She clasped his hand and he let her. He was stiff and frowning.

  “The boy can’t leave his toys in the foyer. It’s uncivilized.”

  Mother laughed and squeezed his fingers. “It’s not the end of the world.”

  He pouted, and she laughed harder. “I distinctly remember you telling me a story about riding your bicycle down the stairs when you were Lincoln’s age.”

  One corner of his mouth twitched. “And I was severely disciplined for it.”

  “But you had fun.” There was a tease in her words. “Admit it.”

  “I did,” he said reluctantly.

  “Nothing was broken and no one got hurt, so there’s no need to get all worked up.” She kissed the back of his hand and he relaxed. “I love you, you serious, set-in-stone man.”

  “I love you too, you crazy, beautiful woma
n.” He kissed the side of her head.

  I stared wide-eyed at Father.

  “And I love you, my sweet, tenderhearted boy.” She squeezed me against her side. “And your daddy does too.”

  I looked at him, waiting for him to say something. He was back to his usual blank face.

  She watched him too.

  He opened his mouth.

  I held my breath.

  “I love you, son.”

  I grasped the mantel. That memory had been buried so deep, I’d forgotten it. He’d only said the words because she’d prompted him to, and I’d never heard them again. Because it was a lie meant to satisfy my mother.

  He stared at me with triumph in his gaze, as if he’d just been inside my head, reliving the moment along with me.

  I loved my mother, but she was wrong. I’d never understand why he was the way he was.

  He is who he is.

  Hadn’t Lexie said something similar to me? That she didn’t want me to change. Mother hadn’t wanted him to change either.

  “I don’t say things I don’t mean.” He challenged me to argue with a look.

  “Why did you stop the investigation of her murder? They had a lead.”

  Annoyance flashed on his face. “I see Mr. Zegas has been spilling the same nonsense his father did.”

  “You gave up,” I said. “It was as if she died and you didn’t care that she received justice.” I threw my hands up.

  “Justice?” he roared. “What justice is there for her? She’s dead. And unless someone can bring her back, there will never be justice.”

  “Someone needs to pay for what they did,” I shouted.

  He stood so quickly his chair hit the wall with a bang. “I have. Every day for the past thirty-four years.”

  I balked. Never had I seen him display such an impassioned outburst.

  He straightened his tie and returned to his seat as if it hadn’t happened. “We will not speak of this again.”

  “Who was she?”

  His brow furrowed. “I said we will not—”

  “I heard you, but I’m not done. Who was that woman who killed her?”

  I’d caught him by surprise. And he’d made the mistake of showing me in the briefest of looks.

  “Neither Zegas knows that information. So I’d like to know how you do.” He spoke low and feral.

  I’d kept something from my father for a very long time. It had to be a shock for a man who believed he knew my every move.

  It was no advantage to me to hide it any longer.

  “I was there.”

  “You were on the way home from school.”

  I shook my head. “I left early and went to meet her. But I was late.” I closed my eyes as that horrific moment replayed in my head again. “I saw everything.”

  “Did you recognize the shooter?” The question was almost desperate. Was it to know the identity or to cover it up?

  “No. I only saw her back.”

  “Leave this alone, son. I mean it.” That was the tone he always took when I was still a boy in his eyes. The disciplinarian.

  “I’m not sure I want to.” I strode closer. “I can’t make any real estate transactions. Perhaps I should use my free time to investigate.”

  “Leave. This. Alone.”

  It was a rare sight to see my father uncomfortable. But he was now. Very much so.

  “Answer one question, and I’ll think about it.”

  “What?”

  “Did you have her murdered?”

  His jaw worked, and I braced against the sofa in case he came at me over the desk. Because he looked as if he wanted to kill me.

  “No.”

  “But you know who did,” I concluded, narrowing my gaze.

  “This might be difficult to believe, but if you think long and hard, you’ll see I’m telling the truth. There are only three things I love as much as I do your mother. Your brother, your sister, and you.”

  I staggered back, grateful for the sofa behind me.

  I believed he loved her, but as for his children, I’d yet to see the evidence.

  People have different ways of showing their emotions. Some of us don’t know how to.

  Not him. Every move he made was calculated.

  “I’m pleased your situation with the authorities has resolved itself.” He leaned back as if we hadn’t just had an intense conversation.

  “Why did you let Titan Title screw us on those property purchases?”

  It hadn’t just affected my personal property, but some of the ones I’d had leads on for the company too.

  “You needed to learn not to trust anyone. The lesson has taken a while to come to fruition, but I’m willing to bet you won’t make the same mistake again,” he said smugly.

  “You have property at stake too.”

  He sighed. “Lincoln, when will you finally understand that no one will undermine me? Especially not Hal Mercer.”

  “You wanted to see me lose everything.” Because he couldn’t stand that I had more than he did.

  “You foolish, foolish boy.” He leaned forward. “If you fail, I appear as a failure, so no, I do not want to see you lose everything.”

  Because it would make him look bad. Silly me.

  He pulled out a folder several inches thick and tossed it on the desk. “Your clear titles.”

  I stared at them as if they were snakes. “How? I’ve had the best real estate attorney in the city working on them and he’s been unable to clear the one for my apartment.”

  I shouldn’t be airing my personal business to my father, but he already knew.

  “You must know the right people in the right places. And it helps to be the lien holder.”

  I’d only been recently made aware that the previous owner of my apartment had owed my father some unknown sum of money somehow related to the property. Had Father pushed me in the direction of that apartment?

  “That doesn’t explain how you had them all cleared.” I flipped through the paperwork and if it was legitimate, and I had no reason to doubt it was, everything appeared to be in order.

  “I go above and beyond for the various departments in the city. I served Hal Mercer to the city attorney on a silver platter on the condition that every property we owned would have the records cleared and tossed from any case they bring forth against him or his company.”

  “And they did it?”

  “I have very generously subsidized the department when the budget falls short. They can’t very well say no to me.”

  He’d made certain of it.

  “There won’t be a long legal battle.” For every deed my father did, there was always a price. And my relief was temporary.

  “And you get to keep your apartment.”

  I wasn’t sure I could stay there. Not without Lexie and Eric. They were everywhere even when they weren’t there, taunting me with the what might have been.

  “Why?” It was a stupid question to ask. I’d gotten to keep what I’d worked for. Wasn’t that enough?

  “As a reward. You’re dedicated to the company and rarely stray.”

  I gaped at him. A reward? Who was this man? And rarely stray? What the actual hell? Was I just a dog to him?

  “I expect you to stay in line. Don’t forget, what I give, I can take away.”

  He wasn’t God, though no one could tell him otherwise.

  “You made a wise choice sending those two misfits away. They don’t belong in our world.”

  “Never speak of them that way again,” I growled. “In fact, never speak of them at all. We are the ones not worthy of them.”

  I shoved off the sofa, done with him. Coming here had been a mistake. I’d known it was before I’d done it and pursued the mission anyway.

  “Don’t forget your folder,” he called.

  Bastard. I didn’t want it. He’d saved me and destroyed what I’d loved all in one fell swoop. If I were as bold as Teague, I’d shoot him the bird.

  “Lincoln, you owe me for
getting the girl out of jail.”

  I halted when I was almost to the door and didn’t immediately turn around. It was impossible to prepare for whatever he had to say.

  Slowly I turned. “You didn’t. She was injured and they didn’t pursue the case.”

  “And who do you think made certain of that? Who do you think got Donnie Logan to drop the charges?”

  My stomach dropped. I thought it was Daniel.

  “What do you want?”

  He tapped his lip with his index finger. “I have something your sister must do. And you’ll see to it she does. I’d hate for that dog food hobby of your little friends to go out of business.”

  And there was the final confirmation. Lexie and Eric needed to stay as far away from me as possible. Because it was even more clear that only one of their enemies had been locked up in jail. The other still preyed, waiting to destroy them in other ways.

  Chapter Forty

  Lincoln

  “You missed. Again.”

  I glared at Daniel as he scooped up the basketball I just shot . . . nowhere in the vicinity of the hoop.

  “Forgive me if I don’t have time to practice to reach NBA status.” I jostled in front of him, determined to steal the ball back.

  He dribbled to one side, then the other, like a taunt. “You don’t have your head in the game.”

  He charged by. I managed to get a hand on the ball and knock it away.

  He held up both hands. “Let’s take a break.” He wiped the sweat from his brow with his shirt.

  I grabbed a bottle of water from the small refrigerator and tossed it to him. He caught it and chugged half the contents in one swallow.

  “Are you sure Donnie and Marlene Logan are locked up for good?” I’d been reassured multiple times, but it still bothered me. What if something happened? What if the system failed Lexie and Eric again?

  Daniel sank onto the bleachers. “I’m sure.”

  I dropped down beside him and leaned back. The exercise was good. A temporary distraction. But he was right. My head was only focused in one place.

  “I’ve made certain of it.” He took a long pull of his water bottle. “Donnie Logan isn’t so tough when confronted by men of his own size.”